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Saturday, May 21, 2011

I Am Not

I am not what you see
I fall short
Of expectations
It’s not easy
To look at your eyes
And see all that you think I can be
And then fall
Short
And I’m sorry for what I’ll never be
I am sorry

Covers are my friend
I can crawl underneath them
And disappear for a while
But every now and then
I pretend I’m worthy of your smile
Those are good days
When silver traces white clouds
But then the rain storms in
And reminds me that I am not
What I could’ve been.

I can take in the world
And in my mind
Carry the vision
And its quiet beauty
But what is a vision worth
If it isn’t my very own?
And I offer no paint
 just a dry brush touching the canvas
my hands hold no place 
their only use is to hide my face

The pressure
The intense desire to be
The clouds
 pushing fast towards me
the thoughts
of giving up
then realizing I have
it’s all too much most days
I’m surrounded by brightness
Hiding forever in the shadows
so I won’t dim your eyes with my grays.
and in many ways, I am a shadow
I am not what you think you see.


11 comments:

  1. I thought I commented to this! Did you change sites or posted elsewhere? I'm losing it!

    Love it though!

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  2. i thoroughly enjoyed this

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  3. Blogger has been all weird. I just realized earlier that my settings didn't allow comments for this and I just fixed it a little bit ago. So you may have commented and I really appreciate you coming back to do so and for reading, especially! Thank you!

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  4. Beautiful like you. I am so glad you have this page. I will create account and bookmark so I can leave a proper comment that you know is me.

    Sincerely
    Kelly JoHugeTits (that will be my user name)

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  5. I effing love the hell out of you, Kelly JoHugeTits!

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  6. You are so amazing. I'm so glad you're writing & sharing again!

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  7. If you could see you through my eyes, you'd be amazed at the beauty found there. <3

    Pam (I can't figure out how to post my Google account from here!)

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  8. Thank you, everyone! Your comments really mean the world to me. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends. Your love and support keeps me going and keeps me inspired.

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  9. I never know what to say about poems. Maybe I read to much into them. Or maybe it's because I feel I can relate to this one in particular.

    I love the poem! And since your a Sister Hazel fan, it reminds me of their song "World Inside My Head."

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