Autumn isn’t wasting any time
A chill grabs my heart
As I watch the Dogwoods
Fall apart
Soon enough these leaves
Will leave
And I’ll be forced to stay
Frozen against
The lifeless gray
I yearn for the fire
That flames no more
I cry for the colors
I knew before
But nothing
Comes and rests
its cold hands on me
While the sky
Sprinkles its dust
All over what I used to be
Now colder and older
with premonitions
Of what January won’t bring
One less voice
In a home that used to sing
One less smile
To dance around our hearts
There marks the mile
Where the pleading starts
I cling to August’s leg
Like a tearful child,
And I beg.
And I beg.
And I beg.
I don’t want to be far away
from the blue eyes of summer.
That was the last season
to see you alive.
This has an eerie feel about it. Death seems to hover over it, the way decay hovers over autumn. It speak so to me very personally now. My mother-in-law is dying. Very sad, yet I hope this passing is the best for her and for us.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law.
DeleteMy younger sister passed away suddenly in mid August of 2012. I'm learning more and more about grief at this point in my life. Each experience with it is so tragically unique.
Absolutely fantastic.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI do feel your grief strongly in this poem. One less voice, one less smile. And I understand your feelings about leaving summer…and all the memories that summer held for you. I find grief takes time. Actually it is harder with the passing of time, not easier, as people expect you are OVER your grief; and you are not.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about that! Especially since there wasn't room for grief in the beginning.
Deletethe one less voice...that part really got me...this is full of deep feeling....we each travel grief in our way...and hopefully find our way through it...though it def leaves its marks on us...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Brian!
ReplyDeleteMy close relationship with Sad began after my dad died in October of '78. The fall reveals the loss of so many things I love. The flowers, the pool, the green grass and swaying trees, my dad, my grandmother...fall took them all and repeats every year to take my comfort and peace. I get it.
ReplyDeleteTime changes feelings, but the loss is forever.