Once Upon A Past

A few decades and some years ago:

I spoke my first words.

I took my first steps.

My knowledge and experience were limited.
 I remained undaunted

by the ever expanding boundaries of the universe.

My shoes were the only thing I could feel stretching--

And all that meant, was that a fresh, new, comfy pair

would find my feet soon

Time was yet to clock me with fear.

“The end” was still a closed fairy tale

of smooched lips and soft hands

tucking in my dreams,

and could be read again another night--

just as happily as bed times before

“Love” and “need”
weren’t spoken words

transferred to print and handed out 

to every passerby;

They were nourishments.

I nursed when the hunger came,

And spit out when I was full.

A smile,
a thank you,
a hug

wasn't a reflex--

rules set on the dinner table alongside china plates.

I never had to ask someone to
“Please pass the kindness”

each of our share was already there

I didn't know the meaning of “guarded”

Why fences were around some houses,

Why some adults were paid to walk with guns and vests.

I didn't notice cops and robbers jumping out of the television

And into real life...

bullets and knives flying

 tearing off the chains on playground swings.

Pain was something I wasn't supposed to have.

And if I got a hold of it

Mom quickly and gently took it away

while explaining that I was too young;
Then put it somewhere too high for me to reach.

Dreams were edible,
candy flavored, cotton clouds.

If I drifted,
I landed covered in dessert.            
Life was too sweet to hurt!            
                                                           
There were no big deals,
only big people.

I looked up to them
 And wondered what all that blue was behind them;
 They said it was just the sky,
 But why did it sometimes make them cry?

 I would find out someday
when through my sunny hair,
snuck in some grey.
When funerals replaced birthdays...

When I became the one with the sky behind me,
 taking the hurt out of a child's hands.