Our Story

I remember
when we were first introduced
I had no effect on you
none whatsoever
you played cool
like they named the Oscars after you
even your accidental brushes
brushed up against life
 and painted magnificent pictures
my hands were unworthy of touching
and would have damaged if they tried

You were beautiful
I was broken
tracing your grace
wishing my life could fit inside
Yet so terrified of the thought
of finding any room there for me

Beneath my closed jacket
was a t-shirt
with the word 'trepidation'
fitting tight against my chest.
In my pocket was a map
to where I buried my emotions
so deep
no animal could pick up the scent.

I kept my eyes open
I kept rest away
So I couldn't fall asleep
So I couldn't fall in love
So that nothing
 could ever catch me falling.

Then one night
a weariness took over my soul
and my hands lost the strength
to do anything but let go.
I met the danger of drowning
and that is when
my fingers found your pen
and wrapped themselves around
every thought fear avoided
I wrote and turned pages.
The ink somehow medicated
my rages.

Somewhere between the lines
I found the rhythm of time
I reasoned with its rhyme.
what I tried not to understand
what I tried
so desperately to shove
turned out to be
 what I now know
as poetry
in the calmest form of love.

The Greatness of Missing You

Click here to listen to an audio recording of me reading this

There's a piece of sadness
that I carry with me
 everywhere I go
sometimes it's heavier than others
and I can never put it down
I'm meant to always feel its weight
That's just the works of tragedy
shaking hands with fate



There's a piece of sadness
that I carry with me forever
It is as heavy as every second
that I live without you
Yet light enough for me
 to run fast to you
with open arms, in my dreams
light enough for me
to still be lifted by the occasional sunbeams


There's a piece of sadness
that I carry with me
every day and night that I drift without you
it's heavier than
all of life's blows that ever hit me
but still light enough
for me to travel
to the end of the time that I have left
light enough for me to not take a shortcut
or curse the stars for such an immense theft

There's a piece of sadness
that I carry with me
and I want you to know it's always okay
because  love helps me carry it
Your love and mine
and so I'll walk with it
as long as I have to,
just fine

There's a piece of sadness
that I carry
though I will never complain
because any ounce of sadness
is far easier to carry
 than eternal emptiness

So I want to always feel
the greatness of missing you.
Always.

A Million Heartbeats

I am learning about time
this time around
how it can take what I love
in just one heartbeat
and how it will take a million of my own heartbeats
before it will give me an anticipated day

I am learning about love
and how simultaneously,
it can leave and stay.

I am learning the importance
of sharing what I need to say.
Otherwise, the urgency and regret
will devour my soul
and I'll have nothing left to bring to heaven
when I must go...

I Can

I can see a fresh start
cautiously rising
yet  hopeful
much like the morning sun

I can hear a second chance
sweeping up the mistakes
that left November's floor a mess.

I can no longer feel the staleness
of the same old troubles
crunching beneath my feet everyday;
At least for now, they have drifted away.

I can sense the decades
unwrapping themselves
offering the gifts of each experience,
unmasking the disguise
to reveal the blessing.

I know that it's time

and I know that I can.

Fragile Strings

A fragile string of a violin

Waiting for that tender caress

Of the understanding bow

So that it may express its sorrow;

For that reliable ear

 leaning all of its attention toward the neglected soul.

The constant vibrations of pain

hoping to be guided

to harmony’s healing home.

Ailing hearts whisper to the melody

You’re not alone…

Offering an answer to the aching

Cries for companionship

That is where pain and passion

collide their art to conceive

A beautiful mess

Traveling like a spill,

much too swift

 and too great to fully absorb

But if you’re lucky

it will swim through your emotions
and stain your mind

Until solitude becomes a stranger

Until you become a part of

More than just the parts of you.

Life

Sometimes it eavesdrops  

And leaves sympathetic tears

on a flower

that opens its deepest thoughts

to a fellow bud

Sometimes it finds a vast, quiet spot

free of rocky mountains of troubles

and stands alone

to exhale the day away

Sometimes it needs

To build its own warmth

Blaze a hearth 

with the spark of a relaxed grin

Sometimes it jealously crashes

To steal the air’s attention

Away from the perfect sun

Most of the time, it just needs

 an uncaptured moment

For its dreams to run

All photos courtesy of http://www.morguefile.com

Separation

Today I walked away

Alone

But stronger than any pair.

 I met myself

at the corner of midnight

then walked until I found the sun.

I patiently walked,

though I wanted to run.

Today I divorced fear,

 packed my courage,

folded my prayers

 and tucked them in a suitcase.

I took my framed dreams

off of the surrounding walls

 then rested them securely

among the cushions of love 

and all things that will not be rejected

by the laws of time travel.

Today I walked away.

Tomorrow I will fly.

I’ll  blow a goodbye kiss

from the chainless sky

to all of the doubts

that I left so far behind,

shackled in my former prison
so they will never follow me.

I Got Lost While Standing Still

I got lost while standing still

on a random, weatherless afternoon.

No rain to run from;

No looking back to watch it fall.

No snow to measure

 the heavy depth in which my legs can stand

No mile long resume of muddy footprints.

No sun to serve as a golden compass

and lead me to familiar streams.

No wind to lift me back

to my subconscious.

I forgot who I was

while worrying about what you wanted me to be.

I paddled fast through your dreams

with no time to sleep and know my own.

Now my hope sleeps
where priceless treasures have deeply sunk;
Where only those who breathe no more can live.


So I sit  beneath a weeping tree
waiting for my first morning
 to dawn on me;
For a soft path beaming with opportunity
to spark my ambitions,
so I can wipe the long, dark midnight
off of these sleepy eyes,
and finally
move on
to discover me.