I am not what you see
I fall short
Of expectations
It’s not easy
To look at your eyes
And see all that you think I can be
And then fall
Short
And I’m sorry for what I’ll never be
I am sorry
Covers are my friend
I can crawl underneath them
And disappear for a while
But every now and then
I pretend I’m worthy of your smile
Those are good days
When silver traces white clouds
But then the rain storms in
And reminds me that I am not
What I could’ve been.
I can take in the world
And in my mind
Carry the vision
And its quiet beauty
But what is a vision worth
If it isn’t my very own?
And I offer no paint
just a dry brush touching the canvas
my hands hold no place
their only use is to hide my face
The pressure
The intense desire to be
The clouds
pushing fast towards me
the thoughts
of giving up
then realizing I have
it’s all too much most days
I’m surrounded by brightness
Hiding forever in the shadows
so I won’t dim your eyes with my grays.
and in many ways, I am a shadow
I am not what you think you see.
