Slipping on Spilled Time

In a world where

my subconscious

is still figuring you out;

still yet to stumble on the road

my open eyes have seen.

My mind drifts into a hazy night.

I attach the swirling wind

like wheels,

to your memory

but the engine has stalled in my chest

and refuses to let you go.

I’ve released my desires

when I discovered them
clinging to dandelions.

I threw my last two cents

into an obscure well

that dwelled so strangely,
deep and dark beneath a land
that hope surrounds.

But how can I rid my dreams

of your haunting stride?

If only I could find the soil

where I buried my pride

and dig up each treasure

saved for a faraway decade;

Treasures that turned out to be

necessities
 I’ve been starving without

 each day along the way.

Perhaps I could drink

Some witch’s poisoned brew,

But that would surely

Slip my thoughts even further back

To the precious time I spilled with you.

I guess I’ll just have to let

My dreams find a way

To finally understand

I let go

a long time ago

I let go

of  yesterday's fickle love
and the past's cold hand

If I Were To Lose You

If I were to lose you
mountains would not crumble
roofs would not cave
because I would be in space
the darkest part
zoneless
homeless
timeless
so far from earth
pleading to be shot by a star
into oblivion
out of my misery.
Undiscovered by launched shuttles
reaching up their hope to lift mystery's veil.
Ignored by orbiting planets
as they fraternize
with the sun.
nothing would revolve around me
nothing would even know to care
too far to be visible
to an intrigued stare

If I were to lose you
it would just be the darkness
and my despair.

I would die
so terribly young,
outlived by an old fear.

Death

I can almost hear it
not quite knocking
with a contemplating hand
a breath away from my door
it knows where I am
and when I will be no more

It makes just enough sound
to bring an audible fright
and then it slips away
as I quickly steal back the covers
from the remiss night

I've decided not to be terrified
of its teasing
I just allow it to be a reminder
that there are days still left
 to be seizing.

Not Guilty

My lover is not a thief

he never stole my heart;

it is still where it has always been

of that I'm certain,

or I would not feel its beating.

He warmed my life with his breath

when he whispered

spring butterflies into my ears

and my heart chased them

 all the way to June.

My lover is not guilty

he never took my love;

he lit it with his summer hands

when they touched
 the willow's shadow

on my skin,

and banished the sad shape

 before it had the chance

 to reach down

and tattoo me with its tears.

My lover is not a marauder

he never invaded my soul

he walked up toward the fence

that protected the garden

of my blossoming dreams,
 carrying fresh water 
and some extra seeds

and asked, most earnestly if he could help

My lover never committed a crime

He committed his love to mine

For Megan

 A poem for my youngest sister

I was lost somewhere between 7 and 8

You, were a bundle of silly,

 spoiled and small

 I was tall

Though not quite reaching the height

to where I could appreciate you

I could count the quarters

 I found between the cushions

yet when it came to your value

It would be years

until I could do that kind of math

And now the equation all makes sense…

Two dimes, a nickel and a penny later

I’m no longer looking for change.

I’m turning to the one that remains

 beside my shoulder.

On cracked cement,

On sand and rocks

Through waves.

Through each year like a breath

That can’t be held for too long

 I proudly watch your wisdom age

though I secretly hope a small part of you

will stay young enough.

Young enough to sometimes need me.

Young enough to always learn.

Young enough to grow older.

Where joy meets a prayer,

my eyes recognize you there.

You, 3rd of 3

Half like one and half like two

Or that’s how I often saw you

Now in the very center of your soul

I see a spark all your own

That only your fingerprints can ignite

In time you’ll leave a blazing path

That will knock the wind out of heaven

And shock the rain too hard to fall

And I’ll be there

with a smile and a tear

Bragging to the stars that I know you.

Feeling Your Way Out

In the quiet

Lives a rage so loud

And so strong

It can not be chased

Or captured by sound

In the core of the boundless mind

Where gravity does not exist

For thought

Where sleep is a risky cure

and not a drug easily acquired

Or worth the danger of nightmares

Come to arrest your mind

For attempted escape

When night

 is an everyday thing

and your only chance for sight

is feeling

and so you feel everything…

You feel everything

until your senses explode

And burst open the door for light

Your body, still shaking,

Follows the warmth

Finally the sun

shows you all that you've missed

and you spend the rest of your life

discovering each moment

 brightness touches.

Deep Breaths Away

Sometimes life is as it should be
but even when it's not
it's only a few deep breaths away
from okay

So take your troubles
sweep them up
celebrate with some happiness
in your cup

Know that even when Life
 isn't always faithful
Love is there
it hasn't changed its heart
 or its hair

Shallow Lips

I hear the word

Forced like December’s wind

Through shallow lips

And then I watch it bounce

Like a sport

off of the one being played

some could go on and on forever

with this charade

always pouring into their lives

without ever taking a sip

sitting on the corner

of an empty smile

and they’ll go on and on,

forever homeless

forever unknowing

 the pleasure of offering shelter.

They think it could be.

They think perhaps not.

The uncertainty

 will blind the rest of their days

Like a branchless late morning path

While they avoid truth’s eyes

And they’ll go on and on

Forever sightless

Forever unseen

They will never hear the sound

Of applauding rain

Cheering proudly on midnight’s roof

While shadows quietly rhyme

Against seclusion’s walls

They will never feel thunder

Try to mimic their hearts

And they’ll go on and on

Forever deaf

Forever unheard

They will never find

Time’s forgotten tokens
because they won't be searching.

They all fell asleep

beneath a half moon.

And they’ll go on and on,

Forever unfeeling,

Forever untouched.

No truth.
No love.
Just shallow lips
forever unkissed.