My Heaven

There is a place nearby

Where the longing

For the some things

And some ones are kept

For all that I can feel

 but no longer touch

It has no streams

It has no trees

dressed in green, gold or red

it has no cliffs

to sit on the edge

 and contemplate what ifs

It carries no clouds,

and no planes or birds

freely fly through

it holds no life,

just a memory of life that once was

It’s not the same as what I want

It’s what I presently have

There is a faraway place existing

Where I don’t yet exist

Where those some things

And some ones now live

Where butterflies

 frequently flutter

 as indigo happily swirls itself

 across a summer sky

It is swarming with eager smiles

Familiar, kind eyes

and open, fervent arms

It’s nourished through creation

Always bursting with fresh art

It holds life

A life that is now

It’s the same as what I want

And all I am yet to have again

My Heaven is when and where

these two places collide

Where the empty is filled

And when the lost is found

Wasted

Stole the blue

 from the morning sky

And used it to ink sorrow

Across my heart

Now newly tattooed

The only permanence that exists

In my autumn world

Of dead brown

And teasing gold

Where everything falls

After it finally changes

And nothing grows old

Just bare and cold

Now winter captures 

and consumes

These unfinished chapters

Though I’m too weary to rage

And tear off each white,

 wordless page

Just monotony and I

Snoozing through tomorrow’s alarm

And waking winded

 in a panic of forgotten tasks

a pond of wasted years

cupped in my palms

Splashing a face of unfaceable fears

Can’t revive the past

It’s all down the drain

Clogged with pain.

Where Sorrow Goes

Shaking in the darkness

Surrounded by my own

Wintered thoughts

I can see the pleas

Float away from my lips

Beyond the stars…

The stars

That have already been claimed

By an optimist’s wish

They’ve all been taken

And so all I have

Is the infinite,

elusive, empty space

Where sorrow goes

 To eternally live...

The Sky Has Long Since Lost Its Blue

 3-3-10

It’s midnight now
And the sky has long since lost its blue
On the terrace
eager to catch a late summer night’s breeze
in the background
Beethoven’s piano plays
A tune of present sorrow
Somewhere lying on an untouched key
is a note of hope yet to be heard,
though once it’s touched
a smile will greet the sunrise tomorrow


Goose bumps form beneath my sleeves
In tune with the sighing wind
And the shrugging branches
Showing off its abundant leaves
The crickets gossip of the madness
That goes on between the earth and moon
The birds, all deep in repose
After fluttering about from morning to late afternoon

In the midst of the cool wind’s charity
The noise of traffic suddenly disrupts
Any chance of clarity
These eyes attempt to avoid
the streetlight’s glares
The cigarette’s smoke escapes from my mouth
and swirls around Like a tornado formed
of whispered prayers

Perhaps tomorrow
I’ll be kissed by the rays of the sun
And maybe I’ll let it catch me
Even if I should feel the urge to run

For now the night understands my troubles
So I’ll spend my time with the moon
For as long as it will have me
And never tire of its comforting tune.